Loss is an inevitable part of life and for many of us we have experienced it in the last two years. For me, it was another loss on Sunday, 16 January 2022 and the words that crept into my mind were “I have had enough”.

The loss became too great. Coping with loss is one of life’s biggest challenges. Any loss can cause grief, including:

• Divorce or relationship break-up

• Loss of health

• Losing a job

• Loss of financial stability

• A miscarriage

• Retirement

• Death of a pet

• Loss of a cherished dream

• A loved one’s serious illness

• Loss of a friendship

• Loss of safety after trauma

• Selling the family home

I want to share ideas on what could possibly work to manage grief, just remember each of us is unique so you might need different copying mechanisms.

How to deal with the grieving process

1. Acknowledge your pain.

2. Accept grief can trigger different and unexpected emotions.

3. Understand that your grieving process will be unique to your circumstances.

4. Seek out face-to-face support from people who care about you.

5. Support yourself emotionally by taking care physically.

6. Recognise the difference between grief and depression.

The five stages of grief

• Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”

• Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?”

• Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will ____.”

• Depression: “I’m too sad to do anything.”

• Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what happened.”

Some handy tips that can help you through the grieving process:

1. See a professional

Seeing a therapist or a counsellor helps; another option is to join a grief counselling group.

2. Socialising

Getting out in the world and participating in life helps with the healing process. Being with friends and family can ease the pain in time and sharing the memories of the people we lost makes the road forward a little easier.

3. Exercise

Physical activity can make you stronger and healthier and provide you with the strength to continue making new memories and make you heal a little more every day.

4. Silence, meditation, and prayer

Finding time to reflect on everything that has occurred is crucial to your recovery. Pick a time where you can be one with your thoughts.

5. Seeking medical advice

If you begin to feel as if you do not have a handle on your grief or morbidly depressed, it’s time to consult a physician or holistic practitioner.

To cope, I turned to reading a bit about managing grief and how to recognise my own stages of grief and that of my family so we can support each other. Grieving is not a quick process but with time we heal.

Written by Jurgens van Lill

11/2/2022